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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136341">that sky blue white</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/herbalistlemin/pseuds/herbalistlemin'>herbalistlemin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, artist seungmin, besties felix and changbin, changbin is a good boy, guardian angel seungmin, maybe sad?, seungbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:13:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/herbalistlemin/pseuds/herbalistlemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Changbin stares (but not in a creepy way) at the pretty boy that sits outside of his class every fresh, sky blue day.</p>
<p>this story might be remotely sad. please proceed with caution.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>that sky blue white</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i don't know why i wrote this. i wrote this at 2am, please bare with my sad feelings. unbetaed since i'm tired. also! don't worry, if it's unclear, there is no character death! (this story might be really confusing and i am so sorry for that. like i said, my brain is starting to fall asleep.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes, it can be rather hard to determine whether or not your feelings are actually the ones you are feeling.</p>
<p>	This was especially hard for Changbin. Every day that he went into that room and looked out the window, he wondered if the sky was more free than the ocean. Or if the ocean was more free because of how it moved so inconsequentially every minute of every day.<br/>
But none of that mattered anyway. Not when the most free person was standing right in front of his eyes.</p>
<p>	Kim Seungmin.</p>
<p>	That was right. Changbin couldn’t wait for the class that had the large window he could sit by and look outside at the angelic boy sitting on the school lawn, sketching or reading. It didn’t matter what he did, if it put a smile on Seungmin’s face, that was all that mattered to Changbin.</p>
<p>	They weren’t friends. They weren’t acquaintances. They were nothing more than strangers. A stranger that Changbin felt oddly connected to.<br/>
Changbin didn’t mind it. He didn’t want to risk the potential falling out they could have if they were friends. Seungmin was too calm and peaceful already on his own for him to want to take the chance and possibly, somehow, one day, hurt the boy.</p>
<p>	His mind continued drifting, taking a look out the window every now and then. Seungmin was under a tree, sitting on a small picnic blanket and reading something Changbin had never heard of.</p>
<p>	Today was a reading day then. Another reading day that for some reason seemed to entertain Seungmin to no end.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Changbin reached for his notebook that sat laid open on his desk. The professor paced back and forth in front of the class. She spoke softly, but openly. If it were any other day, Changbin would be listening. But today was not any other day.</p>
<p>	It was another day. Another day of Seungmin sitting out on the lawn, embracing the fresh weather and sketching something Changbin had no idea about. He would smile to himself every now and then, indicating that he liked what he was creating.</p>
<p>	Changbin smiled too, he turned away before it became obvious to anyone else that he was looking at the beautiful boy on the lawn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	“Changbin, would you be able to read number 9 outloud for us?” The professor asked one day when Changbin was clearly dozing off. Seungmin wasn’t outside today, it was a rather stormy day.</p>
<p>	He sat up quickly and gathered his textbook. He wasn’t sure what page they were on, but his seatmate Felix quickly showed him the page.</p>
<p>	“Yes,” Changbin spoke, wiping off a little bit of drool from his cheek. He croaked out the answer, voice raw from having not spoken for quite some time.</p>
<p>	That was another thing. This class was always so quiet, rarely did the students speak.</p>
<p>	Perhaps it was due to the fact that the class was too focused. Or maybe it was due to the fact that he was oblivious to his surroundings whenever Seungmin was around, in a viewable distance.</p>
<p>	The professor continued the lesson on as Changbin took a seat once again after speaking.</p>
<p>	Felix tapped on his book silently, getting Changbin’s attention. He slid a note to Changbin.</p>
<p>	‘Are you okay?’ it read. Changbin nodded and wondered why Felix was asking this out of the blue. They hardly spoke to one another, and when they did, it was always for input on what the professor had taught that day.</p>
<p>	It didn’t matter though. He let his thoughts roam free as they wandered back to Seungmin.</p>
<p>	Why wasn’t he here today?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	After class, Felix followed Changbin out the door and actually started a conversation with him.</p>
<p>	It was relatively known throughout their class that Changbin didn’t often strike up conversations with people, nor did he socialize much. But so far, he enjoyed talking to Felix. He talked about nothing, but still everything.</p>
<p>	Half way through the conversation, Felix asked if Changbin had any other classes next.<br/>
“No, not today.”</p>
<p>	“Good. Wanna go get something to eat?” Felix smiled with anticipation.</p>
<p>	“Sure.”</p>
<p>	And that day, Changbin didn’t leave class thinking about what Seungmin would be doing the next day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	It had been a week since he started hanging out with Felix, and already, he felt that Felix was a genuinely sweet guy. He quickly learned that Felix had a boyfriend that treated him like he deserved the world (which he does), and Changbin couldn’t be any happier for him.</p>
<p>	“Wanna hang out today after class?” Felix asked before the lecture started. “Chan’s friend invited him to a sketching and painting session at the beach later this evening.”</p>
<p>	Changbin thought about it for a bit. “Maybe,” was all he answered before the lesson started.</p>
<p>	He stared out the window again today.</p>
<p>	The tree was awfully lonely.</p>
<p>	Changbin was too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	“Hey Binnie! You came!” Felix smiled widely at the sight of Changbin walking on the sand, carefully and yet carelessly still too.</p>
<p>	“Hi Felix, hi Chan,” he smiled back. Chan waved brightly back at him. It was no wonder Felix and Chan were together. In his eyes, they both had the same heavenly aura around them.</p>
<p>	Similar to Seungmin, but not entirely.</p>
<p>	“This is my friend Minho! He’s taking drawing lessons, so I came to cheer him on!” Chan introduced a guy that stood behind an easel. He appeared to be focused until Chan called his name.</p>
<p>	“Hi Minho, nice to meet you. I’m Changbin,” he said confidently. He wasn’t shy, just a little quiet.</p>
<p>	Minho gave him a small smile, “Hi.”</p>
<p>	Changbin stood for a bit, waiting to see what would happen next, but nothing was really going on.</p>
<p>	“Chan said he’s gonna get an easel and some brushes for his assignment. Do you wanna go walk around for a bit? I don’t want you to get bored at how slow this may go.” Felix said with a slightly pouty, yet slightly pouty expression.</p>
<p>	Changbin agreed and off they went.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	The air was fresh as they walked by the ocean. It was fairly silent and Felix seemed to be admiring the way the waves crashed along the shore.</p>
<p>	“Seungmin hasn’t shown for a while, has he?” Felix spoke softly.</p>
<p>	Changbin perked up at this.</p>
<p>	“Seungmin?” He asked, not entirely sure if Felix meant who he thought he meant.</p>
<p>	“Yeah, Seungmin. The one you always stare at during class. The one that sits under that large oak tree.” Felix continued on. His voice seemed to be tired, but Changbin didn’t know why.</p>
<p>	“...What do you mean?” He asked gently. Felix didn’t make eye contact. He didn’t for a long time. They just continued on, walking on the rough sand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Felix stopped after a few minutes. He looked up at Changbin who had stopped too.</p>
<p>	“Seungmin… he’s gone.” Felix said.</p>
<p>	Changbin was confused. What did Felix mean by this?</p>
<p>	He meant nothing, right?</p>
<p>	“He’s… not coming back Changbin. He’s… gone.” Tears streamed down Felix’s face. He cried silently, waiting.</p>
<p>	But for what?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Changbin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How was Seungmin gone? Why was Felix telling him this?</p>
<p>	The only sound surrounding them came from the ocean.</p>
<p>	Felix handed him a portfolio Changbin hadn’t noticed him holding.</p>
<p>	He took it carefully, wondering what it could be.</p>
<p>	He was still in shock from Felix’s words from earlier. And when he opened the portfolio, he was confused out of his mind.</p>
<p>	The drawings, the sketches, the paintings… they were all of him. All of his face.</p>
<p>	“..these..” He started.</p>
<p>	“Seungmin would’ve wanted you to have them,” Felix said softly. He was no longer crying, but his voice was still weak.</p>
<p>	The sun had started setting around them, the sky began to turn from blue to pink, orange, and purple.</p>
<p>	It didn’t feel so free anymore. The fresh air felt like it was suffocating him.</p>
<p>	Something felt like it was ripped from inside of him.</p>
<p>	He turned to the last page of the portfolio and saw a painting of the sky. Seungmin’s sky.</p>
<p>	The sky he saw when he was outside on that lawn everyday. The sky Changbin should’ve looked at, because if he did, then he would’ve seen him.</p>
<p>	His guardian angel, Kim Seungmin.</p>
<p>	His lifelong dream, Kim Seungmin.</p>
<p>	The most beautiful sky, Kim Seungmin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	When Changbin looked up at Felix again, he saw nothing but a vast, empty beach.</p>
<p>	He noticed a glowing white feather on the ground. He picked it up before it started disappearing from his fingers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	“Changbin,” a voice called. He turned. There standing on the vast, empty beach was Seungmin.</p>
<p>	He smiled brightly at Changbin and waved carelessly.</p>
<p>	Changbin blinked, and he was gone.</p>
<p>	His guardian angel…   was gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! i know writers shouldn't have to explain stories if they are good, but I am not a good writer, well, not really. so to be clear, seungmin was changbin's guardian angel all along. he never died because he wasn't really living to begin with. and not everyone could see him, but felix was also an angel so he knew of changbin seeing him. now my brain is waking up as i write this haha, but basically (wow i'm suddenly inspired to go into this more) because seungmin was seen by changbin, he had to leave. :( i sort of just made that up now, but it makes sense. if i feel like it, maybe i will make a second part (i will add the other members too!), but don't count on it. if i do, it would be much more light hearted.</p>
<p>i'm sort of having second thoughts about this story haha...</p>
<p>well anyway, thanks for reading once again and please comment if you feel like it (i would love to know your thoughts)! stay safe!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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